Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
