she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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