The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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