evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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