ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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