YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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