My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
