There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
