distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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