Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
