So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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