It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
