I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
