But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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