I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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