I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
are you so shy because you have an std?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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