Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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