I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
