it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
