whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
