yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
