Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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