I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
time to smoke my breakfast
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
