so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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