The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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