dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
