he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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