well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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