I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
