What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
