If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
