I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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