I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
