ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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