Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
