So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
