She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
