No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
