we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
