you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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