she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
