So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
