O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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