i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
