They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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