Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
