you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize