You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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