I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
