Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize