She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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