You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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