my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
