Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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